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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?