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At times, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are often followed by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his behavior, leaving him especially susceptible to negative feedback from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t independently formed that realization personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people conceal it, as there is significant negative perception associated with the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, research points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I often enter a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she says. There were no boundaries when my household were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he says. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number