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This year marks a full decade since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {